Many of us live busy lives filled with too much to do. We already have packed schedules and overbooked timelines: the thought of adding one more thing to the list feels overwhelming. Our instant messenger status might as well shout “Busy!” at all hours of the nite. On social media, we see the mom who makes baby food for her newborn AND works for a busy consulting firm and loves to share what she finds useful. Or the dad who has three adorable children as well as run a dog rescue and find loving homes for dogs – all while taking trips to Bermuda on weekends. He loves to share how grateful he feels for the life he enjoys.
Unfortunately for the rest of us, we know how fulfilling their lives are because these people also have time to blog. To save all of us from ever falling into their trap of being truly happy, here are my top five ways to make sure you never start a blog.
1. Make sure you pick a broad topic that appeals to many but that no one really cares *that much* about. Maybe you enjoy model airplanes or organizing rooms in your house. While these are worthy pursuits, who can talk about cleaning supplies and various types of wood glue 24/7? If want to make sure you don’t blog, pick a topic that even if you write about it, no one will every comment more than a “<3” or “Sounds great!”. The sound of crickets from your comments section will be deafening.
2. Come up with an overwhelming list of things to write about which are all equally valid. Our brains are tired after a long day of work – who has time to figure out the merits of what to write about? We just don’t know what will happen in the latest season of Game of Thrones and you’re sick of the cliff hangers. Best to watch the show to release tension and relax.
3. Only write when you’re well rested and have done your morning routine of yoga, meditation, and a hot bath. The muse is fickle and doesn’t visit those who don’t take care of themselves. Don’t even attempt to write until you’ve had eight hours of sleep each nite for at least the past seven nites and be sure to have completed your two-hour morning ritual to make sure you’re inspired.
4. Make sure your work is perfect before publishing. A job done well is a job worth perfecting. If you actually had time to write something, be sure it’s perfect before publishing it. You don’t want to look like you have no idea how to polish your work to its utmost perfection! What if a grammar nazi reads it?
5. Think of long lists that you can’t come up with the last 3 items. Everyone loves to click on articles that promise a certain number of steps to complete. To make sure you don’t bother with blogging, come up with ridiculously long lists and struggle to find the last three items. This will reassure you that blogging is just not your thing and you should stop this instant.
Good luck in staying miserable and watching everyone else do what you’ve always wanted to do!
<written after another fit of frustration with what should I write about. Thanks to Jeff Fajans on Coach.me who is my personal writing coach and spurred me into writing this!>
